three years

 I have been working on a blog post to publish today, something I have spent a lot of time on and I flat out deleted it and I wasn't able to recover it. I went to edit, but it would not let me undo what I did and I'm very mad at myself I could scream!!!!
As you can tell I have about given up on blogging, part of me thinks that it is a waste of time (as a want-to-be writer I'd rather work on a book I may never publish, with the little free time I have.) I still like to do blurb books and I am slowly working on one for 2011-2012. I used to be a good journal writer before I had children.
  I do want to make a special post today on my Mother. It was three years ago today that my Mom passed away. I miss her so very much! Because I deleted probably over an hours work and few people may see this and comment on it I'm going to make this short and rewrite it for my blurb book. I miss my mom to ugly tears. A few nights before my mom passed away she told me that she is the mom and she should be taking care of me and not the other way around. All she wanted was to live, live for her family to see all her children get married and to watch her grandchildren and future grandchildren grow up and even though she is doing that in spirit it is not the same. My nephew is getting baptized next weekend my mom's spirit will be there, but her body will not allowing her to  give a five minute talk and giving him a baptismal blanket like she did for my other nephew. She is truly the best with the greatest ideas and I miss asking her for advice especially as Emeline and Dallin get older.

 I am so grateful to have the knowledge of the plan of salvation, to know one day I will see my mom again AND she is watching over us. As many know we sadly have a strong cancer gene in our family. I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer 2 years ago and all is stable right now and has been for the last 17 months when I ended chemo I know my mom is "pulling strings" for me and the rest of the family as she always said she would.